Yes, apparently there is an epidemic of crack in this town. Dec 23rd (a day etched in my mind that I would love to erase, but I am afraid my mind is now scarred for life) Me, My sister, and DH went to the DECA (grocery store on base) to buy a ham and other things for dinner the next night. I had to go "potty" actually I had a case of the runs and I wasn't sure if I was going to make it to the bathroom in time, thus creating the problem of sending DH out to the exchange to buy me new clothes...but I did make it and before I got to the door I yelled to DH...go ahead and check out I'll meet you up front. SO I finish my business and Figured that as long as I was in the bathroom DH probably had made it up through the lenghty line and was at a checkout stand, so instead of snaking myself through the store to look for him I instead walked in front of the cash registers...but as I was making the last turn through the maze of seasonal items that were in between myself and the registers somethigng caught my eye. ya know what I mean...kinda like something shiny catching the sun and hitting you in the face. I said to myself...that isn't what I think it is...so stupid me looked again and low and behold was a worker, in his late 20's, bending over putting cases of cans in a pile...and his crack. Now you must say to yourself..."now look Missy (yeah I know sounds funny...mom used to say to my sister too and it was annoying)...anyway...now missy is it proper to mention this guy and his crack as if it were two seperate intities. and this is where I would tell you...uhm if he is showing a full 6 inches of his crack it is! I was mortified...what was even worse is that he was by the door it was cold, and in my time walking to get around him( I did slow to make sure it wasn't a joke) he bent over a few more times.... which leads me to a point...
1. I know when my crack is showing...even a tip...how do you not notice 6 inches of crack?
2. My sister claimed it couldn't be that low, and I swear another centimeter and I would have seen not only hairy crack but what I can only assume to be a hairy scrotal sack too.
3. I didnt' know what to do....If I'd been a smudge braver, and had a pen or pencil I'd have stuck it in his cheeks. But I am not, but then I got mad...he was wearing a belt...but he had his pants low and you KWIM....so DH wants me to write DECA a letter...WDYT?? I mean the place was full of kids and old ladies...and maybe I should have mentioned it too him but not only was I shocked, but he had a coworker beside him...why didn't they tell him? I was too embarassed...
Oh and why didn't I mention this earlier? Ah I got busy...plus I had almost pushed it a little into the back of my mind until at wal-mart today I saw a girl in her early 20's who I can only assume put her jeans on and got into the tub and soaked for a week.... and yes she had 2 inches of crack in the back. But of course ( and I am not being mean either) once she turned around and I saw her It looked like butt crack wasn't the only crack in her system...anyway...my vent ...my rant...enjoy :)
